The Menopause effect
real women. real stories. real what the bleep happened.
Oh, the stories we could tell. Actually, we can you tell you lots of stories! We asked 1,349 women and they spilled…
When we read your stories and analysed the data our hearts broke just a tiny bit more. You said you want support…. so we’re going to give it to you ?
Sharing Common Ground
If there’s one thing we know: it’s that we’re all walking to the same path. Some of us are all hot & sweaty, others are cranky as hell. We’re in this together.
What’s this site all about…
This site is for you if you’re: in Menopause, approaching Menopause, post-menopausal, think Menopause might be fun, you know someone who’s potentially in Menopause (and you’re wondering why the hell your life’s imploding as well… yeah, we see you, confused husbands/partners/children, not knowing if it’s safe to come home).
Perhaps you hate everything and everyone and need a chat. You might want to rent a cool-room for the afternoon or you’re thinking about taking up cage fighting or you’ve lost all hope (and your libido to boot).
This little site is also:
- A sweet-mother-of-everything-holy-how-did-my-life-turn-into-this-trainwreck-pass-the-vodka kind of a site.
- An emergency, WTF-is-happening-to-me site.
- And most of all, it’s an introduction to the sisterhood of menopause kind of a site.
So, if you: used to be fun / happy / less-of-a-cranky-b*tch and you felt alive, creative, inspired, sexy, happy, in charge, less sweaty, balanced and all-those-other-things-you-can’t-remember-right-now…. then we’ll have something for you. Click the button to join the sisterhood that is
The Menopause Effect.
Having Trouble and Think It’s Menopause?
You’re Not Alone Anymore… We’re Here to Help!
The Menopause Effect is part Emergency Life Support for women in menopause, part library of real life stories and part a humour-filled look at what is undoubtedly one of the most annoying and soul destroying / defining aspects of your adult life.
And it’s our mission to help you explore and evaluate the ideas, notions, options and ridiculousness that is Menopause in all its soulless-sweaty-exhausting-headachey-cry-baby-caramel-centered-rage-filled-self.
Maybe you can relate to these women . . .
“I can’t sleep at night with the menopausal sweats and throughout the day they can be very embarrassing, particularly in work. They are very severe and I look as if a bucket of water has been thrown over me.”
“When I was younger that I would blush at the drop of a hat. If I got embarrassed about something I would turn bright red. I find now into menopause the hot flash is extreme. I can go from nothing to extremely red in a matter of seconds. Even when I dry my hair I sweat. If I get stressed I sweat and become extremely red in the face . . . I find I hate being around people since the hot flash cause me stress and the younger generation think it is funny. “
“I am over emotional and I find it difficult to know why I am so teary. At times I find I have a very low mood and I feel disconnected.”
“Unexplained joint pain for about 5 years… Most of the time it was in my elbows and feet. I went to doctors and when my hands started to hurt too the doctor thought I had rheumatoid arthritis. In the end, it was not that and still remain unexplained but I’m convinced it is menopause related. At first, I just accepted it just all the achy bits of me and ignored it. I also did yoga and stretching all of that helps but doesn’t explain anything.”
“Vaginal dryness very painful so much so that I don’t like making love anymore.”
“I have put up some weight and I contribute that to some of my symptoms, I am trying to lose the weight but am very tired from the sleepless nights so when I walk it is slower than it used to be, even cycling is slower.”
“I cannot control my weight. I tried to eat less, cutting out carbs but to no avail. Although I always attended the gym at least three times a week, that did not help either. Lately go to the gym four times a week, with one-hour intensive cardio exercises. It seems that I can control my weight if I cut out all sugar, cake, bread, potatoes, pasta, rice. It is very frustrating because it feels that I cannot eat anything that I like. I do not eat chocolates, drink a cool drink, only water and 2 or 3 cups of coffee a day. Did life stop at the beginning of menopause? I hate every moment of this stage in my life.
“Having had a partial hysterectomy at the age of 41, I started to suffer symptoms of menopause a couple of years later. With a family history of breast cancer, I am unable to take HRT & so felt the only way to go was just to push through. I suffered from terrible night sweats, weight gain, lots of joint pains including carpal tunnel, golfers elbow & tennis elbow. It’s now been 9 years since my hysterectomy and this summer I visited my doctor because I was really struggling & some of the symptoms had worsened & I now have further symptoms – ie loss of libido & general feelings of depression. After blood tests, he confirmed that I was perimenopausal, but offered no further options as HRT has been ruled out. He does not recommend any natural remedies as he claims they are ineffective.”
“No one has any answers for me. I’ve been to doctors/nurses, had tests and won’t tell me either way what is happening to me. It’s scary. Am I supposed to take HRT? If not what do I need to take/do to keep my body /mind functioning? Apart from googling there is no one to talk to. I’ve suffered severe migraines for the past 3 years now and they tell me it’s not hormonal. I’ve never had a migraine before in my life so I know they are bullying me so that’s frustrating the hell out of me cause they’re lying. I feel like I’m in limbo. Just left to rot. Feel inadequate as a woman now my job is done. I haven’t been intimate with my husband because we’re scared. So that’s putting a downer on our relationship too and more anxiety. So now because I’m not using my pelvic floor I feel I need to use the loo more too.”
So, what’s your Symptom Personality?
Imagine our surprise when we discovered that there are 5 main symptom groups/personalities. Most women will have a dominant personality.
Emotional Mood Swinger: Often experienced as a predominant increase in negative thought patterns, the presence or increase of anxiety & depression symptoms, experiences of mood swings, loss of interest in sex and other mental and emotional changes such as ‘brain fog’ and memory disturbances.
Sleepless & Tired: Typically defined by an increased experience of sleeplessness over a sustained period of time, an inability to go to sleep or to stay asleep (with or without night sweats) which predisposes the woman to ongoing tiredness, fatigue and lack of energy.
Hot & Sweaty: Noted by the presence of hot flushes and increased periods of sweating and/or night sweats.
Weight Wrangler: Typically defined by weight gain despite no change to diet or activity levels or a change in amount of weight gain.
Somatic Siren: Defined by the presence of joint and muscle pain, headaches, random pain with no reason, breast tenderness and vaginal dryness or atrophy.
A chance conversation in February 2018 turned how we thought about our own experiences of menopause into a desire to help women everywhere. We’re really glad you’re here.
I thought I’d gotten off lightly… it wasn’t until years later as the symptoms progressed, that I realised that I was in full on menopause. I always thought I was insane and was doomed to a life of pain. Turns out I was wrong.
I didn’t realise I was going through menopause until it upended nearly every aspect of my life. As a former CIO and Manager, I was used to being in control of my life and now suddenly I wasn’t. I had to completely revaluate who I was.
The Menopause Effect started life as a survey. It’s became so much more. During the analysis we discovered so much that thought we should share with as many of you as possible.
We discovered that there are 5 main Symptom Types or what we call ‘Symptom Personalities’ which are characterised by the distinct grouping of features subsequently labelled: Emotional Mood Swinger, Hot & Sweaty, Sleepless & Tired, Weight Wrangler and Somatic Siren.
Research can sometimes be boring and ho hum. But our hearts broke a tiny bit more each time we started reading the data. There was story after story of women suffering and going it alone. We didn’t want that to keep happening… not on our watch!
We’ll be doing further research as we build up our knowledge and this site. Stay turned for the next exciting episode of 5 – 10 questions about you and your menopause! It’ll be fun (pinky promise).
Who wouldn’t love the freedom of taking a day off and going through Menopause one rainy Thursday in winter, instead of from the spring of 2006 to summer 2017?
We’re building a library for women who are intrigued by the idea of discovering that they’re not alone. We hope that women will check us out before considering leaving a relationship, screaming, jumping off a bridge or running over the cheery 28-year-old neighbour with the lawn-mower.
We’ve Developed This Research for All Women…
And most of all, we’re doing it for the women who want to understand more about themselves and the satisfaction of knowing that they can take back their life.
We want you to do Menopause your way. We want you to know you can do it in a way that’s right for you.
Do it for yourself. But mostly, do it for your soul.
We’ve GOT you. ?
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